Flowing Realities

LAZOUR: Welcome, my friend. How are you?

LAZOUR: Vous voulez continuer en français?

LAZOUR: The energy seems to follow the English path.

LAZOUR: What do you want to discuss today?

LAZOUR: Very well.

LAZOUR: Very well. You are in a safe place.

LAZOUR: And in safe company.

LAZOUR: And what is upsetting you at the time?

LAZOUR: You are. And there [are] different aspects to that. You have opened those doors and that’s why also you are reacting and getting upset in some capacity, because of those energies that are getting out, and that you are starting to become aware of, and recognize also.

And there is that aspect of you need to let it go before you can move forward; because you have already moved, and you have started to move some energies to the front. And it needs to get out and to be processed. And what you are doing, taking so many appointments, is helping in releasing, in sorting out, in filtering what you want to keep and what you want to let go of.

And you are supported in that. We are present around you, observing you and being available, if you need us. Is there a particular aspect of that process that is troublesome to you?

LAZOUR: Maybe then, not what is troublesome, but what area you would like to put some light on, or to clarify the muddy waters.

LAZOUR: What about her?

LAZOUR: And how did she present herself to you?

LAZOUR: So you see those connections with your present experiences.

LAZOUR: And would you say that you want to cut the pain out?

LAZOUR: And in that, (pause) are you open to explore different directions?

LAZOUR: As you say, that there are those aspects of yourself that are posing some problem. 

What is generating that perception? You say already, that it comes from that grandmother of yours. And the rejection that she expressed of certain aspects of yourself. Of the aspect that she didn’t trust you, and that she didn’t believe in you, or believe you. How do you connect that with what you want to cut out of yourself?

LAZOUR: You can say that it is one of your preferences at the time. In this moment.

LAZOUR: You mean despite taking medication?

LAZOUR: And (pause) are you open to exploring different avenues…

LAZOUR: …in conjunction with your new direction of starting to be kind and learn more about yourself, becoming aware of your own value, your own worth?

And I’m not saying that you should not remove anything. Or that you should keep everything. It is your choice. Whatever the choice you are making, it will allow you certain directions of explorations. 

What I am suggesting or offering to you is starting to explore different perspectives on yourself. On what your experiences or the different… (pause) The intensity of the experience at the time influenced you to generate those conclusions. Or those directions of seeing yourself in that light of being problematic, of being too much, of being untrustworthy. That was influenced partly with the intensity of the rejection you felt; and [it was] the only way that made sense at the time, to explain the behaviors of others.

(The following paragraph has been reworked a little bit because sometimes the way Lazour talked was a little hard to follow. The reworked parts are in bracket with a star at the end [reworked part*])

Now is a different time. Now, you are an adult. You have had many, many experiences. And they contain many, many, many information. And they can [open*] a different way, or a different path; [one that you can follow*] from [that current*] perception, that you have described to me, to a different perception. Depending on the information, you will allow yourself to perceive those [past*] experiences in what is happening now; and also [depending on*] how you start shifting the importance of your past experiences in what you want to express or manifest now. 

How do you position yourself in relation to those memories at the time? Or those reactions when you cannot see the memories?

LAZOUR: And does the weight hurt you? Or do you perceive it hurts you?

LAZOUR: And how is it weighing on you, now? It can change.

LAZOUR: And would you say it is on your head? And is pressuring down on your neck? Or would you say it’s rather on your shoulders and crushing your neck?

LAZOUR: Very well. 

Which do you trust most? The help of a strong human being, or maybe a god? Or would you prefer the help of one of your creatures?

LAZOUR: You can call upon the energy of those creatures now if you want.

LAZOUR: Let’s engage in a small visualization or sensing experience, if you want.

LAZOUR: You can close your eyes. 

And you become aware of that weight on your neck creating that pain. Take the time to, in your mind, maybe touch or feel that weight. How it is positioned. How [this] weight changes when you move your head. How it limits your movements. Maybe, how you are compensating in different areas of your body. It can be on your face, in your back, in your feet or in your hips.

And you can, if you want, and if it helps you, give it a shape. The shape of an object that is still heavy, but that can be manipulated. And when you are ready, you can call upon the help of a creature. A creature that will have the strength to move that burden or to lift that burden from your neck and your shoulders. 

If no creature came, you can imagine an elephant. They can take things and manipulate things from above. They are very stable on their legs and feet. And they have a lot of strength. And they are also very gentle with their offspring. They know how to be gentle. That elephant can carry that weight for you whenever you need it. [It] can show it to you and put it in front of you so that you can see it better.

If you want, you can look at it from different angles. You can turn around it. You can move closer; and, you can move away from the weight. And see how it affects you. 

You can also start wondering if that weight belongs to you or if it’s the weight of another person, of other individuals, that you have taken upon yourself to carry. Maybe there is both.

Whenever in the future you will need some help carrying that weight, you can call that creature again and ask for its help. This one, or another, can come to you. 

If you feel [that] now it is more comfortable for you to take back that weight, you can take it back. Put it where it is comfortable for you. And you know that as you do that, a little bit of this weight dissolves and is released. If you ever want to leave or release that weight, you can also choose that. Some parts, you may be ready to let go of, and some parts may need further examination. 

Now, slowly, you can come back. You can express appreciation to the creature, and to yourself also. And whenever you are ready, you can open your eyes, if they are closed. You can move around. Feel if it’s different or the same.

And you can either express to me what you experienced, or we can move on to another subject.

LAZOUR: Very well.

LAZOUR: Yes, and that is the need of that child. You are not that child anymore. And you don’t have to (pause) carry the weight of that experience into your experience now.

That doesn’t mean you are betraying yourself. That doesn’t mean that you are not loyal to yourself, to your younger self. That just mean that, now, from your current position, you can decide if you want to continue to carry that experience as a weight in your life; or, if you prefer, to start letting go of the dead weight, so to speak, and carry with you the essence of what it can bring you.

LAZOUR: Is that shame still general? Or do you connect it now with a particular experience?

LAZOUR: You just need one, if there is one. And if there isn’t, just tell me.

LAZOUR: Express it.

LAZOUR: And when was this experience?

LAZOUR: Very well.

LAZOUR: And what did you buy yourself?

LAZOUR: And you were feeling happy?

LAZOUR: And that is understandable. 

These experiences have many layers. And have been brought into many of your following experiences. Each time you felt that shame of taking care of yourself, or wanting something of value for yourself, or just treating yourself. And, every time you have been the witness of other people getting things, those memories have been triggered. That you don’t deserve. That you are not valuable enough to have valuable things. That this is shameful to be who you are. Because you are not acting properly, etc.

You could say there are many, many layers to that. But, don’t be discouraged by that. It’s not that, because there are many layers, it will be impossible for you to remove, so to speak. Actually you are not removing it. You are simply not making it part of your experience now. 

This is important to identify when it was. And it isn’t important what experience it is. Because, it is connected to every other of its kind. And every other experience where it has been expressed. The first important thing is to identify when it was. And, tell yourself that this was an experience in the past. And, it is a valid experience in that past. And you are not rejecting or cutting off your past. You allow it to be what it is, which is in the past. 

And, when you move your attention to the now, you can feel its influence. Because, it has been expressed so many times that it is present also in your most recent experiences. But now, as you become aware of that memory, that intensity, you can choose to allow it to move along with you in your exploration of this reality; or, you can just leave it on the ground, like you would leave a stone, or something heavy that you don’t need anymore.

It has served you. It has been useful. You have carried it also long enough, when maybe it wasn’t as useful for you. And now, letting it go doesn’t mean that it has not been part of your experience. It is just that you can open yourself to different kind of experiences, where this particular memory is not expressed. 

Just like in your songs or in your symphonies. You cannot carry along all the notes from the start of the song up until the end. You cannot play the same melody at the start, in the middle or at the end of the symphony. It will change and you can come back to it, if you want. But it is not an obligation. 

You can also change from one melody, one composition to another. And depending on what is feasible for you at the time, what is your preference also, you can either change everything altogether, creating a strong disruption, interruption; or, you can move gracefully, blending one into the other, and gradually letting go of the old memories. That was the old game; that was the old exploration. And you can start a new exploration. Knowing that, now, you can experience or explore your value, your worth and even your preferences. 

And that exploration is made by engaging your physical reality. Engaging yourself and the different aspects of yourself, like your body consciousness, your emotions. 

It will always be your choice what you choose to engage and what you choose not to incorporate in your exploration. And it is very acceptable for you to do it in increment. Because, sometimes it can allow you to become aware of more information or of more… It can give you more time to adjust also to the changes. The changes in yourself, what you express, how you see yourself.

In relation also to your relationship with other people and with your environment. Sometimes, especially if you need reinsurance or feeling safe, you may need to incorporate some amount of increment.

LAZOUR: In times where you need to develop or to conjure your feeling safe, you may need to include; in that, some element of taking your time. And when you feel more adventurous and more trustful of your capacities and of yourself, you can dare adventure outside of your comfort zone. But you can always come back to that safe zone and that slowness of taking your time, being alone with your own energy and what is comfortable for you.

Do you understand?

LAZOUR: How lost are you? Is it confusion?

LAZOUR: And that is understandable, my friend. Because, it comes from the clouds from your past, also. And behind the cloud is your shining and radiant light. You can let go or let those clouds pass. And you can start to see it as they are. They are not yourself. They don’t tell you about yourself. They only present you with what you have already explored. And, with different avenues of exploration. They are like those choices that you have when you are surfing on your internet looking for goods to buy.

They are like different experiences that you can buy again, that you can experience again. Or that you can also, for this time, dismiss and be on the lookout for other experiences. Just like you explored buying something for yourself and were not comfortable with the price.

You can look at these triggers and reactions as previews of what could be, if you choose to buy into it and reintegrate it in your current experience. Is that image useful for you?

LAZOUR: And what do you usually associate that need with? [At] what kind of time in your life do you require that kind of interaction?

LAZOUR: And I would say that if you had that really, now, with that intensity, you would very soon rebel against that instruction. Because you also want to explore your own directions, and your own structures or your own choices. And what you lean towards, if you want, is more what is behind, or contained in that kind of expression. Which is the presence of someone loving, someone that you can trust enough to follow the instructions or the guidance. Someone that can be here to protect you and to give you information about how to deal with this world. With the realities around you, with this physical manifested reality.

And ultimately, that person is you, my friend. You are the one bringing yourself to the person that will allow you to get the information that you need to receive the appreciation that you deserve. And to also create in your environment that expression or that quality of safe, being safe.

And that can be done when you start seeing that those experiences that keep popping up into your mind, that you keep reacting to in your body, they are brought up by the natural functioning of your body, that will always bring to the front the experiences that resemble in any way the experiences that you have had in your past. In order to have different associations and reactions, you simply have to create new experiences, and to allow for different directions.

You don’t need to always follow the path that you have followed before. The doors are here already. The choices are here already.

It is a matter of starting to reduce the importance of the past. Reduce the guilt that you have carried with you about being different. You can follow your own path, your own direction; and discover, by doing that. What are your preferences now? What belief you prefer now? And what attachments you want to keep? How you want to present or to think about yourself? 

Just like those paintings that you put on your walls. Sometimes, you feel like changing the arrangement of those paintings. Sometimes, you feel that, one painting you don’t want to see it anymore. And sometimes another painting is more suitable for your mood, or for the kind of environment you want to create. It is very flexible.

But, for now, you have been used to always [following] the same paths. The most obvious paths, which are the ones that are familiar to you, and the ones that you have trained your body to follow. 

But you can train your body, you can train your mind to do differently. And it is a matter of repetition. And of starting to recognize your value despite all the noise from your past experiences. Go slowly, and go one step at a time.

You have your own rhythm to follow; and sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it’s slower. Don’t hold yourself [back] because you are not moving fast enough, or that you don’t change enough. This is one of the noises from your past.

And you can start listening to another symphony. Just like you can change what you are listening to on your radio or on your streaming websites. If you allow yourself, it is that easy.

LAZOUR: Do you have any questions?

LAZOUR: You can share if you want.

LAZOUR: Yes, I understand what you mean. This is something with a few ramifications. We can explore that more in depth if you want later.

But for now, let me just say that it is a common belief that understanding what happened or the people who did things to you, the reasons why they did it, or the idea of understanding…

LAZOUR: Yes, and it is connected with that sense of understanding. Because there are some aspects of that experience that you won’t understand, that you have not the (pause) mindset to fully understand. But you can understand certain aspects of it.

You can also move in the direction of starting to recover those memories, when you are feeling safe enough. But that is not necessary to move forward, and to choose different experiences. And sometimes it can also come when you stop (pause) being stuck into your old perception of the event; or in the position that it has put you into at the time, and that keeps repeating as the memory, or the energy is triggered. 

And you can move, and you can create other experiences that will allow you to unwrap this one, without being swallowed in it again. So, this is not a matter of you have to absolutely feel, or understand, or solve that part before you can move on, or before you can feel complete. They are not necessarily related, unless you connect them yourself in your perception. 

I know this is difficult to grasp.

LAZOUR: This is understandable, because the experiences are strong and intense. And they are still coming up. They are still triggered; because, your body still hasn’t learned that it was not relevant anymore for you. When you continue to accept, or…

It’s just like you are repeating a play. You always take the same role or the same (pause) scenario. And this is what the trigger is presenting you with. A scenario with different characters and different through lines that are going to develop from that moment on. And you can, when the trigger occurs, choose to engage in that scenario again, and take on your role of the person being deceived. Or the person having done something shameful. Or the person having done something bad. Or any other scenarios that you are presenting to yourself. And the reactions are yourself embarking upon this journey of repeating this play with the people you have around you at the time. With the environment that you have around you at the time.

And when that happens, and as you become aware of it, you can choose to follow through these scenarios that have been repeated, or that [are] also present in your collective energy. Or you can choose differently. Either choose a different scenario, or you can invent one yourself, if you feel like it. You can recognize—recognition is very important—you can recognize that it is again one of those scenarios that are presenting themselves to you. And you can choose to take that book, take that scenario, take that movie and watch it or play in it again. 

Or, you can say, oh, I’ve done it enough times. I already know how it ends and how it makes me feel, or what it makes me believe about myself. Maybe today I will try something new, try a different action in that game or in that movie, interactive movie. Actually, using it as a video game will be easier because in your video games you often have more leeway of choosing different paths and actions. Whereas in your movies, it’s always the same. So it will be a matter of choosing whether you want it to be a movie, or a video game; or how you want to explore it. This requires some getting familiar, getting used to, or some practice.

And, this is not to say that, if you feel something that belongs to the former scenario or the former story, it doesn’t mean that you are failing, or that you are doing something wrong. It just means that those previous stories have been played so many times that they are still present in your memory. And you are still, in a way, playing them in your mind.

And it is mostly a matter of moving your attention in a different direction; which will lead the world and your reality to manifest different things, and to bring about new doors and new opportunities for you to play with, or to explore. Are you understanding?

LAZOUR: Very well. We can still explore that later; if you have questions after you experiment with it.

LAZOUR: Know my friend that I am always here with you. That I am always supportive. And that I am always listening to your energy.

LAZOUR: Take care of yourself. See you soon. Goodbye.